I stand in front of the mirror as I remind myself that I don’t have to wear the uniform anymore. I don’t have to dress myself in men’s attire. I can grow out my nails, and paint them with polish. I am finally free to have my ears pierced. I can speak in the voice that I’ve spent so many hours cultivating with my speech therapist. I don’t have to hide my disgust anymore at being called “boet” or “sir”. I no longer have to tolerate any references to my deadname.
Anastacia Tomson has fought hard for her right to live, held back for decades by a body that didn’t fit, and an identity that never belonged to her. At first, it had seemed impossible – like transition was some romantic, impractical ideal that was incompatible with reality. But now, after five months of hormone therapy, countless sessions of painful laser hair removal, multiple appointments with doctors and psychologists, it is very much a reality …
Born into an orthodox Jewish family in Johannesburg and brought up as a boy, Anastacia was never sure how much of her conflicted sense of self could be blamed on her often troubled family life and strict upbringing. It would take her nearly 30 years, a great deal of questioning, and a bravery she could never have imagined, to find the peace and self-acceptance she had always sought.